is this pain enough or do i have to see without my eyes and hear without my ears and smile without my mouth. do i have to stand thick with shadows over me on the first night we met, blind, deaf, and silent, watching as my hands learn your body. how each ridge is a geography of mountains and memories. there is your fall off a swing just before you understand the mechanics of flight. here is the lesson of how the rain can hold fire. this is the moment when things are too far, too fast, when the evening is dripping black and the light seeps through after a few years stretch like fingers in the missing morning where i still am, above, unmissed, a black bird squealing a language no one comprehends.
you tell me to say it say it. this will end and you will not and this will be the worst ending that was.