to breathe beyond these shadows i must look elsewhere than where your absence leaks into the late afternoon dark underneath the door light curling behind the curtains like a cat we had together before it died to destroy the love left in my bones i must wade beyond the treeline against the hefty hues … Continue reading
Dear dear, Few things are as holy as holding the hollow lumen of a heart. Here, the beat does not bow. The only master is the winter of metal, the machine that stops the pounding of the meaty tires on that long, lively road. When I first shadowed cardiac surgery, I saw this sacredness splayed … Continue reading
dear dear, i never meant to speak about never, especially those things that will never come again. those memories that float further from the first time i learned the word float, when i tried one, when i learned how to with you and without too. instead, this is all meant to account these days that … Continue reading
dear dear, i used to not think of the generous geography i’ve been given. those cutaways of fat and flesh, those with names i am just sloppily learning. where once stood an abandoned muscle is now the purposeful rectus abdominis. where fat, camper’s fascia. where emptiness, a physiologic peritoneal space with the utmost magical embryologic importance. a rotation, really. … Continue reading
there are no second chances in the devastation of losing it all you can only do this disaster once to feel so horrible like a gentle rain must against windshield wipers pounding their maximum violence to allow the fall to hurt more than the landing where you are there on that edge seeing … Continue reading
still standing here where you left don’t you know how to find me i am a soft pullover of yours i am the slippery sunlight in between the toes there is a deep love under my armpit a bit of warmness glowing still where you spent an evening kissing the usually empty space … Continue reading
what was always wanted was to not ask what to have something said once against the milk of understanding that the earth knows from the sun the seasons from death the way that even here in the comfort of this home assembled from years of the promise of more you will leave to the puddle … Continue reading
Dear dear, I began writing this last year. Many of the words were complicated then. They were ruined in my mouth. Blood dyed their ends. But all of this has been to write a few sentences, simply, assuredly, without the need to compile anymore at least for a day. Today, for example. So, after 365 … Continue reading
here handled dead for yet another exhibit of that hand that will reach to feel the cold but will not disrupt the butterflies wing, will not capture the monarch for fear that the flight will be ruined by hands that will soon swat a fly, splat a hornet, take a bribe, scratch a car, finger … Continue reading
food undigested on the chest breasts already pancakes they will laugh when reaching under the napkin of my body they the strong they the knowledgeable will the question caught on my throat survive the morning before they leave there is another joke that reaches the awake ears bending like flowers to the sun curtains closed … Continue reading
