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Miscellaneous mistakes

This category contains 92 posts

Why I write … poorly

There is no doubt that the English language is rich. Ooze, capitulate, drudgery, mellow … the list of marvelous words is long. But despite its unparalleled wealth, I do English injustice each time my pen trudges itself onto paper. Instead of bounding letters together with the weave of my ballpoint pen, instead of creating sentences … Continue reading

Moments in between

Sometimes, life comes out of nowhere. It pops up like a kernel, guns a-blazing. Some people scream in response. Others cry. Doctors scramble under its potentially trigger-happy command, giving into all its demands. Amphetamines. Heart monitors. Incubators. And so on. Please. Just don’t take my life, they hope. Humanity’s skin of blood and sweat is … Continue reading

Snoozing for a bruising

The sun passes through the curtain of my eyelashes. I check my alarm clock. It’s four in the afternoon. I have just woken up. With a yawn plastered across my face, I have never been happier. It’s not every day that you can sleep the day away. In fact, it’s not every day you can … Continue reading

Fortune favours foresight

“Routine falls into habit, habit into life, and each day, humanity falls victim to their idiosyncrasies.” A farmer reads off a wooden, peeling plaque early in the morning. The shimmer of the cherry-blossom summer sun greets him as he does this. His lips lap themselves around the words effortlessly like a flutist around a reed. … Continue reading

Oh

Strangers. “Hi.” “Hello.” “You…” “Yes?” “Nothing.” “But…” “Nothing.” “Just…” “Familiar.” “Oh.” “Yes.” “Who?” “Nobody.” “Okay.” “Yup.” Silence. “So.” “So.” “Familiar?” “Stop.” “Why?” “Because.” “Face?” “No.” “Arms?” “No.” “Legs?” “Maybe.” “And?” “Something.” “What?” “Wife.” “Where?” “Nowhere.”` “Alive?” “Stop.” “Oh.” Silence. “Weather?” “Bad.” “Worse.” “Terrible.” “Indeed.” Silence. “Sports?” “No.” “Politics?” “No” “Anything?” “Yes.” “What?” “You.” “Sorry?” “You.” … Continue reading

Gold to orange, orange to black

His eyes drudged on back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Rock slab. Hammer down. Pick up crumbs. Throw away. Repeat. Rock slab. Hammer down. Pick up crumbs. Throw away. Repeat. His life was a broken record player, skipping and playing back the same old 43 seconds endlessly. It was a futile task … Continue reading

End of the world party

The date is Friday December 21st. It is the end of the world. 11:59. One more minute, then, nothing. Boom. Gone. Death. Everything flicked off. Everyone holds their breath. It doesn’t matter though. They should all probably breath. Hell. Or should I say heaven? It is the last time they’ll inhale this stuff. This poison: … Continue reading

Fr-uitopia: The five step guide to creating world peace

In 2081, the world had finally reached universal peace. No longer was there any fast-food signs. Everyone was considered a celebrity. And of course, there were no wars or any form of division either. Everyone was considered a “POOPE-Y!”. The name came from the ingenious visionary, Sir Alfred Hubert “McSweaty” Pants, which meant a Previous-Obituary-Of-Planet-Earth-Yuck!. … Continue reading

Sewing the world together

The shores drew back and forth tirelessly on the beach front while the sun flickered down to a firefly’s strength. The wind was calm. The seagulls had long retreated from a day of terrorizing, pillaging and pooping. Their shrills had etched a permanent echo of triumphant white “splatters” all along the sand. Hot dog vendors … Continue reading

Regular asteroids

On March 11th, 1986, Jim and Sarah Truman began to die. They didn’t quite know it yet. So they woke up as they did every day. Jim said to his beautiful wife, “Another day, another dollar.” She smiled back. They dressed. They ate. They brushed their teeth in the exact same way that they had … Continue reading