archives

loss

This tag is associated with 345 posts

A third way

Dear dear, I think of my life in two ways. On one side there is an immense tragedy of the unfulfilled, the deadening day where I watch myself sink into misery and depression, where I am cheated on, abused, and brutalized, where I am convinced I am nothing, and where there is mediocrity displaced greatly, … Continue reading

New York

Dear dear, I adore you. I have to start with that common, misused, adorned phrase for sometimes, the most obvious facts bear repeating. Against the falseness, they barrel through. Against the swell of disappointments, they ground. Against me, I hope there is you, adored and yourself. I mean all of it. All of you. You … Continue reading

Queen here

Dear dear, Kurt Vonnegut wrote that the best piece of all of literature was from King Lear. When the climax is winding down, and the characters have shown themselves to be vile, and there is nothing left to salvage, King Lear perishes. Among all the metaphors and metonyms and entire neologisms that Shakespeare could have … Continue reading

Lola’s Legs

Dear dear, If I were to tell you about me, I suppose I’d have to start with today, how I am happy and full and total, how there are jokes still stumbling joyously like a first time drunk on their way home, how I believe that there is enough food in the world for there … Continue reading

Naked truth

On the stand is me. Much of the battered light beats shadows into my face. There is no judge, no jury. The room is empty, save for a sole typist’s typewriter that is blue on the exterior shell and a grey, hard metal on its keys. A faded wood from the Deco era panels the … Continue reading

Arrhythmia

You, Few things are as holy as holding the hollow lumen of a heart. Here, the beat does not bow. The only master is the winter of metal, the machine that stops the pounding of the meaty tires on that long, lively road. When I first shadowed cardiac surgery, I saw this sacredness splayed out … Continue reading

tap out

are we only we in the broken things must we continue to bleed on those who never wounded us who do you talk to now that you are alone like a scab   does the moon behind your chest still hold a reflection in the knife can butter still bend the metal where are you … Continue reading

it will sound like a goose

where are the herds the wild wolves that would massacre this hopeful innocence still hopping into each day the maddening light that cannot reach the deep breath of the forest   everything has been cut down and domesticated even the spring has a plan nowadays for what will grow when   it will be you … Continue reading

what to do

to breathe beyond these shadows i must look elsewhere than where your absence leaks into the late afternoon dark underneath the door light curling behind the curtains like a cat we had together before it died   to destroy the love left in my bones i must wade beyond the treeline against the hefty hues … Continue reading

ECMO

Dear dear, Few things are as holy as holding the hollow lumen of a heart. Here, the beat does not bow. The only master is the winter of metal, the machine that stops the pounding of the meaty tires on that long, lively road. When I first shadowed cardiac surgery, I saw this sacredness splayed … Continue reading