the grand crevice

at ninety

i feel like

i’ll finally understand

how to live

only to not be able

to live with understanding

and all i misunderstood

*

we have other nights

together to try

to renew the first night

that brought on these

*

i see my life

from a distance

on a cliff that i hang above

and i am ready to jump off of

with the conclusions of

what i should have done

and could do

if only i knew what it meant

to be up here

and what it means

to fall down

squishing myself

with the gravity of

the situation