follow fire, suffocate smoke

what a crime it is

sometimes

just to be

and ask

what

*

to be human

is to wish

not to be human

and to then

to wish for more

*

i’m still learning

that what i’ve learnt

needs to be unlearned

by being still i

*

feel it all

for

it all feels

*

to be broken

how whole it makes you

*

alone

and

away from the living

smoking gives me room to breathe

by uniting me with the dead

*

i have spent most of my life

trying to be comfortable with change

forgetting that the calm i feel now

won after my muscles wore

my family fell into a reluctant horizon

unwilling to see the day but afraid of the night

and a few loves found more than my love

will change too

leaving me spent