Keeping an abandoned fort

She said

I can’t keep

keeping your keep

and I didn’t know

my sadness was tarnishing her

like her sadness was tarnishing me

and that we were stuck

trying to see who is the most ruined

by each other

even as our eyes worsened

by looking at us

and so we hurt ourselves more

by busting fingers between

our flappy flesh

those holes like our ears

which could be blocked for silence

our noses

which could be blocked for rest

our eyes

which could be blocked for peace

and for us

until there was nothing to hear, smell, see

and even less to keep

which was what

she said she can’t do

*

The most depraved

piece of writing is this:

I saw her

after years of not

though she did not

see me