can can’ts

all my friends

are going to die

strangers while i

spend my last few

few trying to remember

the strange times

we had when we had

time like when michael

made me drink alcohol

in grade eight and i said

this can’t be it

and when i touched my

first boob after the practice

of years of molding play-do

and said

this is probably it

and when i made love

for the first time

with the flesh of me

trying to sprout more

and said

this is it

until it is not

and i am left

with the clean up

of i –

i wish i had been drunk

to forget about all of

it

*

can’t you write things

that make people happy

i’m asked

and i say

that the fact that

it makes you sad

makes me happier

so i can write more can’ts