this knot untied

the following is more of not that again.

*

there are many words still

not still

that remain to be said

that beg for you to give them a chance

against all the others you have held

in little handfuls

caught in a laughter during class

and whispered to another who whispered back

what you always wanted to hear

a something that meant something

to you only

not this

tiny words less than a page

pouring specifics at the root of everything

to stretch into a yawn into a sleep into me cutting into you

once more

this last moment of a small heart

cradled into the chicken coop of compassion

and holding the universe in an egg

or a thought

not this

a novel of three

an act of two

a play of one

an audience of none

not this

slow sentences and kind paragraphs

you can carry with you

to old age

where even when you go

they remain

not this

or those times that arrive

on this side of where

the sun only rises

and the darkness waits

for closure only an end

of a book knows

not this

the description of your feet against cement for the last time

the adjectives used to fill the emptiness inside

the reading aloud of forgetting

not this

kacper

i am sorry

i can

not

do

this

anymore