Don’t fade into mediocrity

Don’t fade into mediocrity

I used to tell myself

when I was younger

and slowly fading

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

do it full

don’t stop

unless stopping means

to do it completely

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

that dead normal

that glazed over hump

that has water and the promise of survival

but is dry and boring

unlike the sharp extremes

more or less

the more and the less

which are lonely existences

where there is nothing but struggle

and pain and loss

and the inability to feel content anywhere

which is the only way to surge

with life

even if you’re gurgling blood

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

and the winding path of I could have

if only things were different

and I wasn’t bitched

and my parents were there

and I bought that one thing that one day

because no one has it easy

and everyone has it worse than that

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

write something better

something less clunky

and more ebullient

and fulfilling and fluid

like eyes on the sun see no shadow

or hang onto a edge of cliff

to see both heaven and hell balanced

or just: don’t fade

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

make people afraid of you

distant from you

and what you say

which you’ve been told is alienating and isolating

and makes them uneasy

because they’ve never been asked what

their most embarrassing moment was

before they even knew your name

which you may think is pretty embarrassing

but they haven’t heard your name yet

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

with what you’ve heard is a good idea

that people before and people after

have been getting

like the wants of a wild car

and a house

and the slipshod stability

of happiness then and then

it never comes

because you never will

when you’re waiting

on you

when you are right here

and also there

still waiting

on you

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

by assuming there’s some way not to be normal

when all are bonked and boozed and miserable

with eyes lost and confused and focusing

on nothing on at all until they focus

on you

who isn’t focusing on anything

until you focus

on them

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

while telling people not to do something

like fading into mediocrity

because people always have advice

and things to avoid

and hopes and dreams

and lies we fill ourselves with to make ourselves filled

as a way to avoid the possibility

that they are mediocre

and if not

they are ends of not or not

and both may be worse

because everyone else may be not normal too

and you wanted to be special

and for people to notice

while meanwhile

you fade just like them

 

Don’t fade into mediocrity

by fading out of it