lost things go

she says she

cheated on me

and i am so tired

all of a sudden

and there’s a place

to sleep here somewhere

though it used to be her stomach

in summer or a shoulder

in winter

but i can’t tell the outside

from the inside now

and so i look back to her

as she says that she

did it because she needed to

find herself in someone else

and i could swear

night is coming on too early

today

and she says she found she

and i am heavy, unbearable,

the grunt of lifting weights

the clatter once they hit the ground

for they always do

with or without their carrier

and she holds my hand

though i can’t be sure

i am holding hers

because i rest

in myself

for a few months

and she goes away

to wherever it is

lost things go

*

i thought

i saw

a face

in the night

but it was just

trees rattling

against the window

in the morning

and i wondered

what have i

changed into

with the coming of day