the end after the end

you have come despite a life that often doesn’t

to try to find meaning or a break or a laugh

you deserve

and i want to give it to you

with the beauty of now which is then which is which

and the always confusing magic of attempting to know a really

that’s already gone on this far without you feeling much better

regardless of the moments that can never understood

even as i share the crumbling you who

cannot comprehend why this continues

without much more will and hope

against thoughts that scratch my head when i am alone

in now which is then which is which

wondering why there’s wandering

and trying to connect back to you with my front

hands outstretched on a keyboard

like a spider’s web that doesn’t wash away in the rain

and that reaches persistently to the ground

to feel you

to touch you

to make you know that no one can know

what it is you know and don’t

and this allowance of terrifying uniqueness

of constant disconnect

of knots that will never be untied or united

makes you want to clap into thunderous happiness

as a single light that is afraid of the darkness

but i still go

still spit thousand years of development into developing poetry

with no intention at all

save for that intention to save

myself from no

and the unbecoming i became

when i will leave you now which is then which is which

to be by yourself again with all i’ve given

and without all that was given to me

as you were before this little lone universe banged

into you with an apology of not being enough

but knowing that you are

and now or then or whichever

you are ready for our readied you

a being so full that they go on

even after it all ends oddly