the daughter i always wanted

those who tell you

the world doesn’t work

that way are

tired of their world

not working

and thus

hope you

deaf

numb

helpless

are a solution

to those untold

*

they healed me

from open wounds

but i realized then

while holding onto them

like a bandaid

that i could not see

beyond them

could not see the edge

to which i would be led to

with hopes that the cuts

hadn’t closed

if only to grip on more more

before the fall

*

i regret

not having

had regrets

with i

*

your long hair

makes you look

like a girl

son

but mom

if i am a girl

i am a reflection

of the most beautiful

i know

you