abate

it was loneliness

that made me meet her

though after

unmade and meaty

imploding from the indigestion

of the inside

i began to know

true loneliness

that only the stars

long since dead in the sky

know with their shining relentless

still painful light

*

i have spent

a lifetime trying to love

the bits no one else did

which some days

i did not either

thinking what others told me

which is no less

than nothing less

than nothing

*

when i am no more

make me no more

than when i am

which was mostly

unmade

wondering what i would

become before

then knew no other

then

*

i wish to be the life

that ceases to wish

and instead

lives ceaseless

bes