flaky dermatology

i have things to do

like yesterday

and a week before that too

but i was only sixteen or around there then

adding to the clouds with a coughing chimney

that will throat her till rain roars

into this light life

that i swear has no free will

and if there is some it’s predetermined to

be offered like a buffet or a single meal

for the same price

which i’m gorging spilling slurping summing

becoming more of me

as the laundry machine waves

like an ocean or a seashell

to make me pure again

after i am done

*

i have no reason

to kill myself

which may be

reason enough

*

the world is so awful

but perhaps

i can learn to become

the most awful in the world

so i will always know

that the evil that comes

is from a good kind heart

like mine