533

it is 532

this is you leaving

 

worn wet

hand on a lumpy handle

that hangs in a pattern

that will never be repaired

 

1 minute before you go

you try to mouth something

that sounds like the wind

30 years from now on a sail boat

going across the world

even if the feat has been done

many times already

 

3 minutes before

i am reminded that the best way

to hide from a relationship

is in the full swing of one

 

4 minutes

you shield my eyes from the dying day

in a floral dress that still appears to grow

into the deepening darkness

 

6 minutes

we hug

like lovers

 

8 minutes

i smell dinner from two days ago

remembering when you told me

that lobsters were cooked alive

by slowly heating them up

and how i gave up hot tubs then and there

with a promise of a diet of plastic processed food instead

which you told me was just

as bad for me the lobsters

and don’t even get started about the hottubs

 

11 minutes

you say it only

happened twice

 

12 minutes

you say it only

happened once

 

13 minutes

you tell me

there is nothing

to tell

 

14 minutes

do lobsters yell

when they are ready

to be consumed

in silent mouthfuls

 

16 minutes

your hair falls in front

of your face like a warm wave

that draws life to it

i do not brush it

 

19 minutes

your body folds itself over the teal sofa

in beautiful music that the birds must call out

when they see each morning stretching

to greet you and i

 

20 minutes

i think of the saddest lines

knowing how sadder yet

they will be once said

to the unknown

 

25 minutes

the room is stiff and stuck

though the ac is crying

the humidifier is crying

and you are breathing perfectly

 

30 minutes

you mention to me

that there are collections of neruda

that will never be released to the public

parts will come out in 2030 and 2040 and then bits

will just sit in big libraries with pain unread

and people still dead

and love too

you say

it is there somewhere

sometimes

for someone

unknown

 

43 minutes

you fart

 

44 minutes

you ask if

i want to see something

surprising

 

50 minutes

i learn that

is this the end

is an end itself

 

59 minutes

how beautiful

you look

how lucky

i am

 

60 minutes

the chainmail of the day’s battle wounds the wood

with your purse bruising the floor into the dank submission

of you will need to clean that later

when it comes

 

61 minutes

you come back home

a little late

carrying scratches from

terrible traffic

and this woman at work

who wouldn’t do just that

 

2 days

we eat lobsters

as a celebration for four

years together

 

3 days

nothing happens

which is meant to happen

with one’s everything

 

5 days

you read to me neruda

it is in spanish

i don’t speak the language

though i understand each word

 

1 week

vacations are planned

on the precipice of native optimism

to see golden clouds that think the same of us

unseen

 

2 weeks

that working workless woman took you aside

to tell you that she thinks she needs

a break for a bit to rest

 

3 weeks 2 days

solar eclipses smother the land in rarity

and the universal truth that in the universe

there is only the story of two coming together

and leaving

while we sit on our roof

waiting for night to fall

during the day

in a tinge where everything dies

for a little too long

 

1 month

look look

what i read about lobsters

screaming as though in space

and reaching for the breathless land

after learning what the real flavor

of water is

 

1 month 2 weeks

you come home late

a bit unbuttoned

blaming that woman

who doesn’t work

for leaving you frazzled

and alone in this thing

 

2 months

you wait for the night

to check your phone when

the crack from the screen

lets light pour out

 

2 months 11 days

it is like dying

like sliding down a mountain

like being the mountain

and watching a small blip slip down

unable to help

worsening the situation

with each shutter and cry

 

2 months 20 days

you tell me you love me

like no other

 

2 months 21 one days

i find the place where lost dreams go to

where the singing birds songs were written

where lobsters shells go back to the sea

and learn what it means to swim

again

 

2 months 22 days

how long is a day

if the blinds are down

how long is sadness

if there are only tears

how long has it been

if there are no more

ifs there

 

2 months 23 days

the moment before the moment

and before before too

i discover an accident

left alone like a leaf

after winter

where the snow has gone

and the salt has dried

and there is still enough life

to remember what will come

again

 

2 months 24 days

i buy another neruda

which you tell me you already have

from the woman at work

 

3 months

dancing with walls

and you

and the night

and stars dead

though they look

at this kissing touching

life still

not still

 

4 months

a finger lingering on a stomach

in the morning

will leave one fuller than any food

 

4 months 6 days

beauty beauty beauty

each day

 

5 months

i buy neruda for us to read

beyond the phone

that pulls you to work

because of that woman

i nod happily

 

6 months

your parents laugh

at a joke of mine

 

7 months 13 days

do i make you afraid

of what can be

or is it more

what can’t be

unmade

 

10 months

burnt pizza

liquor

shadows

lightness

 

1 year 4 months

i am lucky

 

2 years

i am happy

 

3 years

i am yours

 

4 years

we meet

slowly

when i am drunk

raving about a lobster dinner

and wondering where the tonight

will end up