father’s day

i thought i wasn’t thinking

until i held out my hand in belief

and callous developed to break hearts

after following a shadow

which hid underneath my mother’s eyes

like a child under a blanket

listening to a fight that must’ve not ended yet since

whenever a beginning began

and hearing silence then footsteps

then a kiss on the forehead

don’t want to disturb you

but i’ll be back

then turning away

seeing his back

already forgetting what the front was like

which must’ve been like mine

not thinking but thinking as a result

a brain spread but useless

though that would come later

as it always does

for it does always

because of a universe that yawns into existence

and never asks nothingness if it ever wanted to be

in the first place

sleep,

me-in-you,

rest

for a fight will take

most of your life away

after this night