the best worst

i hate myself

for wanting the worst for you

when i was once the best

wanting better for us

but now i know

that this is the best

for the worst is happening

given that i am leaving you

after you left me

for a different i

and a worse us

*

the only advice i know

is that there is no winning

and knowing this only

is a win itself

*

stay in the shadows

to see your shape

outside yourself

basking in the possibility of light

*

the world is a wound bleeding disaster

so you know you’ll have to try good

to do good

to make good

to become good

to survive the hurt

and as you do

you’ll realize how bad

the world made you feel

and how bloody you got