the age of men

it is not sad

because you moved on

but because i didn’t

from it was

*

don’t stop on a hill

my grandfather used to say

before we put him in one

and stopped to try to remember all the sayings

that climbed into us

and what we were doing

*

we had history at our back

whimpering that women were fooled

into the continual worldly production of men like me

who wanted to present you with myself

good and whole and horrible

like too much alcohol or christmas holidays

or when we ended

sober

feigning joy

telling us that we would go on as we were when we weren’t

and when we were too

but with others

who would never fully know our history

bound into our back

before it disappeared into us who did the same

but worse