closed i

i have seen the unexpected surprise itself into calm consistency

forgetting that all still water once wore waves

and even the smallest puddle is pulled by the moon

i have seen thundering clouds

make a lot of sense trying to burn

the rain

i have seen people who say that they could’ve

made that modern art piece in the museum

but who still haven’t by the next time they echo

i have seen the weather disappointed that we blame it

for our troubles when our troubles disappoint it

i have seen babies die before they were born

i have seen a homeless woman know where home was

i have seen i had

i have seen birds prefer the ground

i have seen arguments about whether it is better for the best story

to be written in the worst way

or the worst story in the best way

i have seen someone ask whether is is is

i have seen confusion

second glances

certainty over a wish for a third look

i have seen nothing

i have seen someone’s life work completed at the age of six

and i have seen how the piece was derivative and not particularly good

i have seen a societal system that sires insecurity and doubt

so that each existence

once full and furious

is an act of revolutionary resistance

i have seen that grass remains green on the other side of snow

waiting for the summer and your laughter

and that sometimes dog piss is all it gets

i have seen people still sit by a fire for warmth

after a burning

i have seen people still swim

after they have drowned

i have seen sentences hollowed by termites

of i would except for i can’t

i have seen more beautiful moments

but this now is now ours

i have seen those in love

where there is only their there there

i have seen the few on the other end of grief who had hoped for floor

below but found instead the ceiling of another level

with empty centers and unused furniture sulking in corners

i have seen a living room quite dead

i have seen the blind look at me

i have seen the person in the future who will think of me and say

if only he wrote about me then when then was then

maybe i wouldn’t feel so alone as he

i have seen those left behind

who did not have much to see and so spent a while finding themselves

only to realize that no one is found and no one is lost

instead all are all

i have seen those beings who become unbecoming

who sit in a coffee shop mired in the whole thing

while unsure of what the whole thing is

and who try to choke in responsible delicious sips

i have seen silence silence silence

i have seen the end and it has seen me and

we laughed shaking our finger at each other

while watching our nails grow dead skin

i have seen little stronger than a humanity that dies and dies and dies

but still moves here

i have seen the ones who weren’t going to make it to the afternoon

go home to dinner against a traffic that weeps fires

that try to burn the city down but are enslaved to work

nearing on empty

finally empty

i have seen all art is for all is art

i have seen bodies digging up spaces in hearts and knee creases and armpits

for the other bodies that no body will know so full and whole

i have seen a father as a museum of miracles

and a mother who saw the same

i have seen you as you

a person in a loop that shows compassion at one boundary and

disaster at the other with an edge as thin as dental floss in between

where you’re smiling showing teeth that could swallow the sun

i have seen a place for a place to displace myself

i have seen new worlds in a lover’s orbit

i have seen water come from Mars

travelling millions of kilometres

to land into another person

who will only piss it out

i have seen day and night meet with awkward fumbling love on the

narrow line of leaving always

but always coming back

shuffling breathing

tickling again renewed and hopeful that tonight is the day for today or tomorrow

i have seen an elephant free itself from a zoo

after learning about the gate

roaming the highway in the opposite direction of the cars with a honk of its own

and i have seen it shot for it was a danger

once let go

i have seen the elderly disgusted with progress but sad

they won’t be able to see where it goes

i have seen perfectly fine humans finely imperfect

i have seen flowers tell me about this planet with whispers

that makes the wind get up and nervously worry the sea

hoping for some reassurance that it will remain uninhibited

i have seen lakes like oceans and oceans like lakes

where i have been in both realizing i am the water and salt and once a fish too

who thinks he thought once

oh how i can swim and swim and swim

i have seen a shrimp stir fry ruined

i have seen sweets poison

i have seen hate love

i have seen sadness happy

i have seen snails be thankful for the protection of a shell

not knowing that they will be collected for a necklace

that will be meant to save me from you

i have seen a man write all he knows and know

that he is looking at him and unknowingly

not a man who sees i

i have seen collapses take lifetimes and serial killers who

prefer to lob insults when they were six and disaster birth disaster

i have seen blood which is always too much blood

i have seen God and he told me

it was a mistake

it was a mistake of lightness

i have seen no one come back alive from war

i have seen a woman who is four and who will wish

for her daughters that they be gentle and quiet and listening to their mother

like she did and does with a not yet not yet

don’t you leave my shadow

stay close little girl and learn without noise

i have seen a guillotine smile

i have seen a blossom bored and wishing for winter

i have seen anew anew again

i have seen a thought of what could be could be

i have seen it growing into a bush of berries where

paths spread their fingers towards the sky

and fruits bloom in the hug with the possibility of being a doctor or a writer

or just at home unmoving and silent like a tick

waiting to fall into another

and i have seen the fruits rot on the branches

eventually plummeting to the ground to leave a sound

of did you hear that

what could it have been

i have seen the grandest philosophy said in three words

more than philosophy in two

why philosophy was started in one

and all of it – the philosophical and otherwise – in none

i have seen those consciously critical of habit develop

this cynicism into their daily unwavering schedule

i have seen those live without apology finding enough enough

i have seen those around us strong and brutish

who beat their chest and brandish weapons and warn

that you’ll die mother fucker if you step closer

because they have never been close

due to something blocking them from crying

and a want to see you do it instead

i have seen you close and how you don’t see all you are

with eyes stopped in a line

i have seen you sitting there with the mist

of a waterfall against a fall day that must choke the river

with seasonal death and

yet it still avoids stillness

still roars even as the rain will turn to snow

and you turn to me for warmth and find me sleeping

snoring

the open mouth of a universe

of a sleeper who doesn’t learn

for nightly he dreams again

i have seen too much

i have seen too little

i have seen only one lonely side of the story

 

what about you?